So, I shopped at a department store yesterday for the first time in five years. That was WEIRD. Funny though, it's like riding a bike, remembering how to shop that way, work the sales, etc. I'm in an odd state of feeling kind of victorious because I got so much for so little money but also feeling deflated because I kind of sold out my ideals for the school district.
Suburban schools are weird, and my ideologies don't totally square with theirs. Every time I buy something at a department store, I kind of feel like I have blood on my hands. I think of who made it, the working conditions in sweat shops, kids picking cotton, the waste and excess fuel and other material resources in clothing that people view as disposable, and I feel yucky. I usually shop at resale stores that benefit charities that I support, but this year, after a year of what I can only call bullying (couched in terms of concern: "how are you guys doing financially? Do you need help? Here's the number for a charity that gives people free clothes...") from the school (no, not the kids at school, the guidance counselor mostly) about my kids, saying their clothes are messy or old or whatever, I capitulated. I should say that my kids' clothes are and always have been clean and pretty darn cool (in my opinion), but I have always allowed them to choose whatever they want to wear and allowed them to wear the things they choose in any combination that makes them feel good about themselves as long as they aren't distracted. School is not a fashion show.
As a result, if my son wants to wear his favorite shirt with paint stains in it, I let him. If my other son wants to draw sharpie pictures all over his clothes and himself, I let him. If my daughter wants to wear a green skirt, a pink shirt,a brown belt, and black and purple snow boots in the middle of Autumn, hey, that's cool. Do you feel amazing? Yeah? Then wear it. If my son wants to wear a princess dress to prom, I'll help him shop for it. I want them to love themselves and feel free to create any image of themselves that feels good to offer the world. This is their time to explore. Soon enough, social pressure and job pressure may force them to conform to this or that standard, but in the mean time, they should feel as free as possible. At least that's what I thought. And I guess that notion is still in place. They chose what they wanted from the sale racks at the department store, but their options were so limited. Here's something like everybody else. Here's something else that will make you look like a suburban kid, blah blah blah. They are happy. So I guess I am too. But it's going to be a weird school year, not watching my littlest ones outwardly presenting their uniqueness to the world.
So, I've been bullied by the school. And unfortunately, I have responded to the bullying the same way that most people do, by keeping my head down and trying to just blend, trying to just get by until we are out of this school. The middle and high school in this district are surprisingly more easy going. My oldest daughter (theatre and art loving musician girl) will start the school year with long, bright pink hair, and her crazy old school punk meets hipster sense of fashion -- thrift store chic. And my other daughter (cross country runner, charity 5K BEAST, little athlete extraordinaire) will start the year with her medium blonde with light blonde highlights, chunked out, just long enough to fit in a hair tie hair and her very kooky, edgy, everything is better with sparkles, patches, buttons (pins), and odd and exciting embellishments sense of style that she wears with so much confidence that even her suburban clone mall shoppin' friends think it's cool as hell. Meanwhile, the little ones will blend into the scenery at their suburban elementary school. It will be interesting to see how they project their amazing individual quirks without the outward signifiers of their clothing.
I'm not getting rid of my six year old's mohawk though. THAT's where I draw the line.
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