Sometimes when I feel like I haven't accomplished much lately or like I'm not growing, I need to look further back in time. Changes happen so subtly sometimes that they are imperceptible in a narrow time frame. For example, 20 years ago, I was terrified to leave my house alone at night, even to go to the grocery store. I remember psyching myself up to walk the 20 feet from the hair salon door to m

y car on the rare nights that I closed and no one was there to walk me to my car (at 9 p.m.). And I'd arrive home after driving about 5 miles, exhausted from the effort put forth to stay calm, and I'd congratulate myself, telling myself to be satisfied with baby steps. Now, my favorite time to shop is in the middle of the night -- alone. I go to a dance class that starts at 9 p.m. -- alone (sometimes). I drive home -- alone. I sing to radio music -- alone. I go anywhere I want, anytime I want, after dark -- alone. I don't need to find and follow my breath to stay calm. I just am. I don't know when this change happened; it was so slow and subtle. See? We grow. We just don't always notice it. So, keep with the baby steps, even teeeeeny steps away from whatever is toxic in our worlds are moving in the right direction.