When I was a kid, I had visions of what my life would look like when I grew up. They were fairly simple, even "humble" and sweet. This unfinished post is what kept me from writing for the last three weeks. I will finish it, but not today.
I think I'm going to leave each version of this post in place. Leave it as a rough representation of my thought process. Of how I'm working through my revision to find my new vision. I've had a little growth spurt recently. I'm glad for it. I'm feeling slightly wiser and unsettled -- hoping I'm never too settled in my ways of seeing -- that's part of this little bit of growing. So, I'm going to leave this up here -- messy, unfinished, and unsettled -- Like me.
The dreams I had about what life would be like were likely constructed by the lives I saw around me in my own family, in the media I was exposed to, and the people I knew. They were reinforced in playground games and in dramatic play. I don't resent them. I do regret that I didn't have the skills to reimagine, revise, and reconstruct the templates I was given, but seriously, very few of us do.
Laundry break.
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